Stage 1 · Lesson 4 of 6

Forgive yourself to start sooner

Why you procrastinate (it is not laziness)

It sounds backwards, but being kind to yourself about procrastinating seems to reduce it. In a study by Michael Wohl, Tim Pychyl and Shannon Bennett, students who forgave themselves for procrastinating before a first exam procrastinated less before the next one.

Self-criticism makes the task feel even more threatening, so you avoid it more. Self-forgiveness is not the same as saying it does not matter. It sounds like: "I put this off because it felt hard.

That is human. What is one small thing I can do now?" Kristin Neff's self-compassion research points the same way.

Common trapbelieving that being harsh with yourself is what keeps you motivated, when for most people it does the opposite.

A question to check yourself and an AI practice session come when you add the roadmap to your account. Add it

Resources for this stage

Start with

VideoFree
Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator (Tim Urban, TED2016)
Tim Urban (TED2016)
A funny, honest talk on what goes on inside a procrastinator's head

Practise

Self-Compassion (Dr Kristin Neff)
Free exercises for replacing self-criticism with something that helps you start

Also worth your time

Solving the Procrastination Puzzle (Timothy A. Pychyl)ReadPaid
Tim Pychyl's short, research-based book on why we put things off
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (David D. Burns)Go deeperPaid
The thinking traps behind perfectionism and putting things off, and how to catch them

Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).