Only if it fits what you want, not because others are doing it. Separate the pressure from the decision: write down why you want to go, what it will cost, and what staying could look like. Moving abroad can be excellent, and staying can be too; what matters is choosing on purpose.
What people tell me
Most of my classmates and friends are applying for master's programmes or jobs abroad. Every week someone announces an admission or a visa, and my family keeps asking when I will go too. I am not sure I even want to leave. I like my life here and I have a decent job, but I feel like I am missing out and falling behind by staying.
A composite of the messages behind this question, with personal details left out.
Key takeaways
- Social pressure is not a reason; your own goals are.
- Write down why you want to go, what it costs, and what a strong career at home would look like.
- Talk to people who moved two or more years ago, not just those celebrating an admission.
- Staying and building a strong career locally or remotely is a legitimate choice.
- If you do go, go with a plan and savings, not in a rush to keep up.
Notice where the question comes from
When everyone around you is leaving, staying starts to feel like failing. Every announcement on social media, every relative asking "When are you going?", adds to it. But look closely at your message: you like your life, you have a decent job, and you are not sure you want to leave. That is important information, and it is getting drowned out by other people's decisions.
The question is not "Should I go because others are going?" It is "Does moving abroad serve what I want from the next five to ten years?" Those can have different answers.
Separate the pressure from the decision
Take an evening and write honest answers to these questions:
- Why would I go? Money, learning, safety, a specific career, a partner, a better future for children? Be specific.
- What would it cost? Distance from family, savings spent on fees and moving, starting over socially, visa uncertainty, possibly a new language.
- What does a strong career look like if I stay? Could you grow into a senior role locally, or work remotely for a foreign company?
- What do I actually enjoy about my life now? People often only notice this after they leave.
If your reasons for going are mostly about keeping up with others, that is a signal to slow down.
Talk to the right people
People announcing an admission or a visa are at the happiest moment of the process. Talk instead to people who moved two or three years ago. Ask them what surprised them, what they miss, what the first year was really like, and whether they would do it again. You will hear a more balanced picture, and you will learn a lot about which parts matter to you.
Staying is a real option
Staying does not mean settling. Many engineers build excellent careers without moving:
- Growing into senior and leadership roles at strong local companies or global capability centres.
- Working remotely for foreign companies while living near family.
- Freelancing or building their own products.
The career growth roadmap and How do I find a remote software job that pays in dollars? show what that path can look like.
Going is also a real option
If your answers point toward leaving, that is fine too. Moving abroad can give you stability, a residency path, a strong network and experience that is hard to get at home. Just do it deliberately:
| If you want to | Good first step |
|---|---|
| Study | Research programmes and scholarships, and compare total cost with likely outcomes |
| Work | Target companies that sponsor visas and build a profile that stands out internationally |
| Keep options open | Keep growing your career now; a stronger profile makes every route easier later |
Read How can I get a software engineering job abroad with visa sponsorship? and Should I do a master's abroad or get work experience first? before you commit money.
You do not have to decide this month
The pressure makes it feel urgent. It is not. You can keep growing where you are, save, and revisit the question in six months with clearer answers. Many people who moved later, with more experience and savings, had an easier time than those who rushed.
Handling family expectations
If family pressure is part of it, tell them your reasoning calmly and show them a plan, whichever way you choose. People worry less when they can see you have thought it through. How do I handle family pressure about my career choice? has more on that.
If you are still stuck
If you want to talk through the decision with someone who has no stake in it, join Sefism and, as a member, book a 1:1 session.
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