The Update, the Vent, and the Disaster
A short, widely cited essay on the three kinds of one to one and how to tell which one is happening. Fifteen minutes, and it permanently changes how you run and attend these meetings.
Guide
Mentorship
Michael Lopp
15 minutes
All
Free
The idea
Every one to one is one of three conversations. An update, which is low content and mostly fine. A vent, where something has been building and needs to come out. Or a disaster, where something is genuinely wrong and the meeting is the only place it will surface.
Why the distinction matters
Managers run all three the same way, usually as an update, which means the vent gets cut short and the disaster never appears at all. Recognising which conversation you are in, and adjusting, is most of what makes a one to one worth having.
The wider point
That the meeting exists to hear the things that are not in the status report, and that a run of quiet, pleasant one to ones is not evidence that everything is fine.
Best for: anyone who runs one to ones, and anyone who attends them and finds them pointless.
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