Stage 2 · Lesson 4 of 7
Stepping back from thoughts
Some thoughts are hard to argue with, and arguing can keep you stuck. Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), the approach behind Russ Harris's work, suggests a different move: notice the thought and step back from it, which ACT calls defusion.
Instead of "I am not good enough", say "I am having the thought that I am not good enough." Or "Here is the not-good-enough story again." The thought is still there, but you are watching it rather than being inside it.
Then ask: if I were not obeying this thought, what would I do next? You can feel doubt and still raise your hand.
Common trapwaiting for the doubting thoughts to disappear before acting. For most people, they never fully go; they get quieter as you act.
A question to check yourself and an AI practice session come when you add the roadmap to your account. Add it
Resources for this stage
Start with
- GuideFreeSelf-Compassion (Dr Kristin Neff)
Kristin Neff
Kristin Neff's free self-compassion exercises and the research behind them
Practise
- moodgymPaid
A free online CBT programme for working through unhelpful thoughts step by step
Short, research-based practices, including self-compassion and gratitude exercises
Also worth your time
Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).