The Power of Vulnerability (Brené Brown, TEDxHouston)
Researcher Brené Brown's talk on connection, shame and why the people who feel a strong sense of worth are willing to be seen, imperfections and all. A 20 minute talk for anyone who hides behind perfectionism or finds it hard to let people in.
Video
Career Growth
Brené Brown (TEDxHouston)
20 min talk
All
Free
What it is
The Power of Vulnerability is a talk by Brené Brown, a research professor who studies shame, courage and connection. She gave it at TEDxHouston in June 2010, and it became one of the most watched talks on TED. In about 20 minutes, and with a lot of humour, she describes how her own research on connection led her somewhere she did not expect: to vulnerability.
The ideas that matter most
- Connection is why we are here. People are wired for connection, and shame, the fear that something about us makes us unworthy of it, is what gets in the way.
- Worthiness comes first. In her interviews, people who had a strong sense of love and belonging believed they were worthy of it. That belief was the difference, not achievement.
- Courage, compassion, connection. These people had the courage to be imperfect, were kind to themselves first and then to others, and let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were.
- Vulnerability is not weakness. Saying "I love you" first, asking for help, or applying when you might be rejected all feel exposed, and are also where joy and belonging start.
- You cannot numb selectively. When we try to numb hard feelings, we also numb good ones like joy and gratitude.
Honest limits
This is a talk, not a programme, and it is told through Brown's own story. It will not tell you how to open up safely in a family or culture where vulnerability is punished; choose people who have earned your trust. If shame or low mood is heavy and constant, a counsellor can help you work through it.
Who it suits
Perfectionists, people who find it hard to ask for help, and anyone who feels they must earn their place.
How to use it well
- Watch it once for the story, then again with a notebook.
- Write down one place where you hold back from being seen: asking a question, sharing work, saying how you feel.
- Take one small, safe risk this week with someone you trust.
Pair it with on Sefism
- Follow Building real confidence.
- Build trusted relationships in Building your support system.
- For advice on your own situation, ask Tauseef a question.
Best for: understanding why being seen is the way to belonging.
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