Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World (Vivek H. Murthy)

What it is

Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World is by Vivek H. Murthy, a doctor who served as the 19th and 21st Surgeon General of the United States. It was published by Harper Wave in 2020 (352 pages). Murthy came to the topic after hearing, on tours across the US, how many people felt lonely. He later issued a Surgeon General's advisory on loneliness and isolation in 2023.

The ideas that matter most

• Loneliness is common and nothing to be ashamed of. It is a signal, like hunger, that you need connection. Many people who seem busy and social feel it.
• It affects health. Murthy draws on research linking long-term loneliness and isolation to poorer physical and mental health.
• There are different kinds of loneliness. Missing a close confidant, missing a circle of friends, and missing a sense of belonging to a community are different needs.
• Start with yourself. Being comfortable in your own company, and kind to yourself, makes it easier to reach out to others.
• Small, regular contact matters. A few minutes of real attention each day, without your phone, and service to others, help build connection that lasts.

Honest limits

Most examples and data come from the US. The book explains and encourages more than it gives a step-by-step plan, so pair it with practical actions. Loneliness can overlap with depression; if you feel low most days or hopeless, please talk to a doctor or counsellor, and if you are in crisis use Find A Helpline.

Who it suits

Students living in a hostel or a new city, people who moved abroad, remote workers, and anyone who wants to understand why connection matters so much.

How to use it well

• Read a chapter a week.
• Each week, reach out to one person you have lost touch with and spend 15 minutes giving someone your full attention.
• Join one group that meets regularly, such as a study circle, sports club or volunteering group.

Pair it with on Sefism

• Follow Building your support system.
• Look after your wellbeing with Looking after your mental health.
• For advice on your own situation, ask Tauseef a question.

Best for: understanding loneliness and taking small steps towards real connection.