When it goes badly

You will speak up and say something wrong, present and stumble, apply and get rejected. That is part of building confidence, not a sign it is failing. What matters is what you do next.

First, notice the critic's verdict ("I knew I could not do it") and recognise it as a thinking trap. Then review the event fairly: what went well, what did not, and what is one thing to change next time. Write it down with a date.

Talk to someone you trust; they often see it more kindly and more accurately than you do. Then go back to your ladder, perhaps one step lower for a while.