Stage 7 of 7 · 7 lessons · ~2 weeks
Helping a friend, and staying well
How to notice when a friend is struggling, listen well, ask the hard question and get them to help, while looking after yourself. Then turn everything into a simple plan that keeps you well.
Start: Noticing when a friend is strugglingLessons· one lesson for each topic, in this order
Do this
- Check in with one friend you have not heard from in a while
- Practise listening without advice in your next real conversation
- Write the exact words you would use to ask about suicide
- Know the nearest emergency department and a crisis line for where you live
- Write your one-page wellbeing plan and keep it on your phone
- Share your plan, or part of it, with one person you trust
- Put a plan review in your calendar before your next busy period
Start with· follow one of these
- PlatformFreeBefrienders Worldwide
Befrienders Worldwide
Guidance on supporting someone in distress, and emotional support centres worldwide
- GuideFreeNHS Every Mind Matters
NHS (England)
The free Mind Plan quiz gives you a starting point for your wellbeing plan
Practise
Keep handy
Also worth your time
- Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World (Vivek H. Murthy)ReadPaid
Why connection matters for health, from a former US Surgeon General
Before moving on: A one-page wellbeing plan with what keeps you well, your warning signs, your actions, your contacts (including a crisis line) and what others can do, shared with one person you trust; and the words you would use to check in on a friend and to ask about suicide.
You do not need training to be a good friend in a hard moment. Notice, ask, listen, and help them reach proper support; leave the treatment to professionals. And write your own plan while you are well, because it is much easier to follow a plan than to think clearly when things are hard.
Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).