Stage 6 · Lesson 2 of 6

Understand it before you judge it

Feedback often arrives as a vague label: "your presentation was weak", "this code is messy", "you need more ownership". Before deciding if it is fair, find out what it means. Ask: "Can you show me an example?" and "What would good look like?"

Write the answers down. You will often find the real point is smaller and more useful than the label, such as "your slides had too much text" or "this function does three things". Thank the person, even if it hurt.

Common trapeither accepting a vague label as a judgement on your whole ability, or rejecting it because it was badly delivered.

A question to check yourself and an AI practice session come when you add the roadmap to your account. Add it

Resources for this stage

Start with

BookPaid
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen (Penguin Books) · Paid book
From two of the authors of the feedback triggers idea, on hard conversations of every kind

Practise

The Update, the Vent, and the Disaster
How to bring a problem to your manager, and what they are listening for

Keep handy

One on One Meeting Questions
Specific questions to ask for useful feedback in one-to-ones

Also worth your time

The Confidence Gap (Russ Harris)ReadPaid
On acting on what matters while the fear and self-doubt are still there

Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).