Stage 1 of 7 · 6 lessons · ~1 week
Why rejection hurts
Rejection hurts for real reasons, and the hurt is not a sign of weakness. Understand what is going on, how the story you tell yourself shapes the pain, and where the line is between a bad week and something that needs more help.
Start: Rejection is a real kind of painLessons· one lesson for each topic, in this order
Do this
- Write your most recent setback as one factual sentence with a date
- Write down the meaning you added, and check whether it is permanent, pervasive or personal
- Rewrite that meaning so it is accurate rather than harsh
- Ask one person you respect about an early rejection of theirs
- Write the names of two people you would tell if a low mood lasted more than two weeks
- Save the mental health roadmap and Find A Helpline where you can find them quickly
Start with· follow one of these
- VideoFreeWhy We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid (Guy Winch, TEDxLinnaeusUniversity)
Guy Winch (TEDxLinnaeusUniversity)
Why rejection hurts and how to treat emotional injuries as seriously as a cut
- VideoFreeThe Power of Vulnerability (Brené Brown, TEDxHouston)
Brené Brown (TEDxHouston)
Why shame grows in silence, and why naming a setback weakens it
Keep handy
Also worth your time
Before moving on: A short note in your own words: why rejection hurts, your last setback written as one factual sentence, the harsh story you added and a more accurate one, and two people you would tell if a low mood lasted.
You are allowed to be upset. Feeling it fully for a short time is healthier than pretending you are fine. What you want to avoid is letting one result write a story about your whole life. Keep the event small and specific, and keep your worth out of it.
Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).