Stage 1 · Lesson 1 of 6
Rejection is a real kind of pain
Humans survived in groups, so being pushed out of one was dangerous. Brain imaging studies, starting with work by Naomi Eisenberger and colleagues in 2003, found that being left out activates some of the same brain regions involved in physical pain.
That is why a rejection email can feel like a punch in the stomach, and why you may lose sleep or appetite for a day or two. Knowing this does not make it stop hurting, but it helps you stop judging yourself for hurting. A strong reaction to a rejection says the thing mattered to you, not that you are fragile.
Common traptelling yourself you should not feel this, which adds a second layer of shame on top of the first pain.
A question to check yourself come when you add the roadmap to your account. Add it
Resources for this stage
Start with· follow one of these
- VideoFreeWhy We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid (Guy Winch, TEDxLinnaeusUniversity)
Guy Winch (TEDxLinnaeusUniversity)
Why rejection hurts and how to treat emotional injuries as seriously as a cut
- VideoFreeThe Power of Vulnerability (Brené Brown, TEDxHouston)
Brené Brown (TEDxHouston)
Why shame grows in silence, and why naming a setback weakens it
Keep handy
Also worth your time
Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).