Stage 1 of 7 · 7 lessons · ~1 week
Why speaking up is hard
Fear of judgement, respect for hierarchy and speaking in a second language all make people stay quiet. Understand what is happening, see why the fear overestimates the risk, and start practising in small steps.
Start: The fear of being judgedLessons· one lesson for each topic, in this order
Do this
- List three situations where you stay quiet and what you fear in each
- Write your five-step speaking ladder from easiest to hardest
- Set a weekly target for the first step and track it in a notebook
- Try saying "I am excited" before one speaking moment this week
- Choose the style of contributing that suits you best
Start with· follow one of these
- VideoFreeThe Skill of Self Confidence (Dr. Ivan Joseph, TEDxRyersonU)
Dr. Ivan Joseph (TEDxRyersonU)
Confidence as a skill built through repetition, from a university sports coach
- BookPaidQuiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (Susan Cain)
Susan Cain (Crown) · Paid book
Why quiet people bring real strengths, and how to contribute in your own way
Keep handy
Also worth your time
Before moving on: A short note: the situations where you stay quiet and what you fear in each, the cultural or language reasons behind it, the style of contributing that suits you, and a five-step speaking ladder with a weekly target for step one.
You do not need to become a different person to be heard. Most of what holds people back is a fear that is bigger than the real risk, and that fear shrinks with repetition. Start on the lowest step that still feels slightly uncomfortable, and count your attempts, not your successes.
Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).