Stage 7 of 7 · 6 lessons · ~2 weeks
Resilience, a post-mortem and starting again
Bring it together. Handle comparison, build habits that make setbacks easier to absorb, write a post-mortem without blaming yourself, and turn it into a dated plan to try again.
Start: Comparison after a setbackLessons· one lesson for each topic, in this order
Do this
- Write a five-section blameless post-mortem for one setback
- Rewrite any line that describes your character instead of what happened
- Turn the "do differently" section into two "when X, I will Y" actions with dates
- Pick one resilience habit and keep it for a month
- Tell one person your plan and when you will update them
- Set a review date three months from now
- Start a list of setbacks you have got through, and keep adding to it
Start with· follow one of these
- GuideFreeSelf-Compassion (Dr Kristin Neff)
Kristin Neff
Kristin Neff's free exercises for treating yourself like a friend after failure
- VideoFreeHow to Make Stress Your Friend (Kelly McGonigal, TEDGlobal 2013)
Kelly McGonigal (TEDGlobal 2013)
How seeing stress differently, and reaching out to others, changes how it affects you
Practise
Keep handy
Also worth your time
Before moving on: A written post-mortem without self-blame for one real setback, two "when X, I will Y" actions with dates, one resilience habit you are keeping for a month, and a review date to check the plan honestly.
Bouncing back is not about being tough or never feeling bad. It is about having a routine that keeps you steady, a way of learning that does not attack you, and a plan small enough to start this week. Write it down, tell someone and begin. You do not need to feel ready.
Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).