Stage 3 · Lesson 3 of 7

Clues in anger, envy and pride

Values, and what you want vs what is expected

Strong feelings point to values. What makes you angry often shows what you think is fair: a teacher favouring some students, a colleague taking credit. What makes you proud shows what you think is worth doing.

Even envy, which most of us are ashamed of, is useful data: if you feel a pang when a friend starts a business, or moves abroad, or gets time to paint, it may show something you want and have not admitted. You do not have to act on it, only notice it.

Write down three recent moments of anger, envy and pride and ask what value each one was protecting.

Common trappushing these feelings away as bad or petty, and missing what they are telling you about yourself.

A question to check yourself and an AI practice session come when you add the roadmap to your account. Add it

Resources for this stage

Practise

Greater Good in Action (UC Berkeley)
Short guided exercises for reflecting on what matters to you

Also worth your time

The Confidence Gap (Russ Harris)ReadPaid
A clear, practical introduction to values as directions, from acceptance and commitment therapy
The Courage to Be Disliked (Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga)Go deeperPaid
A thought-provoking dialogue on living by your own tasks rather than everyone else's

Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).