Stage 3 · Lesson 2 of 7

Finding your values

Values, and what you want vs what is expected

A simple way to start is a values sort. Write or find a list of about 40 common values, such as security, freedom, family, faith, learning, creativity, fairness, achievement, health, adventure, service, independence and belonging. Cross out the ones that do not matter much to you, until about ten are left.

Then cut to five. This is hard, which is the point. For each of the five, write what it means to you in one sentence, because "family" or "success" means very different things to different people. Finally, check each one against your actual week: where did it show up?

Common trapchoosing values that sound good or that you think a good person should have, instead of the ones that really drive your choices.

A question to check yourself and an AI practice session come when you add the roadmap to your account. Add it

Resources for this stage

Practise

Greater Good in Action (UC Berkeley)
Short guided exercises for reflecting on what matters to you

Also worth your time

The Confidence Gap (Russ Harris)ReadPaid
A clear, practical introduction to values as directions, from acceptance and commitment therapy
The Courage to Be Disliked (Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga)Go deeperPaid
A thought-provoking dialogue on living by your own tasks rather than everyone else's

Struggling right now? If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a crisis line: Find a helpline (any country), Umang (Pakistan), Tele-MANAS, 14416 (India).